Philemonology

Furnace

2010-08-23T10:00:00.000-07:00

Of Steaks and Stakes

A passion burning like a furnace. Eyes blazing with fire. Eyes centered upon a cheese. Even the most hushed squeak triggers the birth of crimsons. Avarice did not fuel the furnace. Gambling ideas despite the speculative hypotheses was like the white plague. Gambling brought the bacon home. Gambling brings the bacon home. Enraptured by capricious verdicts, the eyes are bound to witness how the furnace would forge the swords of Damocles. The malodour coursing through the heart of the sinful product draws the attention of the fervent eyes. Fortune fueled the furnace. Derisory would be the ideal word if the furnace was dowsed with potency of misadventure. Without justification, the cheese tardily was sorcerised into the genesis of nirvana. Melted by the furnace, the blue-eyed leviathan was altogether consumed and gradually envenomed the fallible body. What has become of it was obscured by the coal catered by the foreign virus. The furnace lit brighter allowing warmth to embrace the body through winters. Gambling, once again, brought bacon home.

Red-Orange

2010-08-15T09:31:00.000-07:00

In the end, the books burned.

Red-Orange was the colour of the flames.

The End is Here.

2010-07-18T07:23:00.000-07:00

Enter Book II

The End

2010-07-11T09:12:00.001-07:00

The End is Near.

Popeye the Sailorman

2010-07-04T09:35:00.000-07:00

He lived in the garbage can,
He opened the door,
And farted at the door,
He's Popeye the sailorman.

Yes, i just farted........

....at the door.

smelt like rojak sauce

Maximum Pain in the Ass

2008-10-28T10:13:00.000-07:00

Meet Mr. Brightside.

Mr. Brightside has a pain in the ass.
He must update his blog or his ass will be gone.
He is Philemon's inflamed sense of vulnerability.

Again, Mr. Brightside return after 2 weeks.
This time, Mr. Brightside wishes to narrate:
"Oh, hi!"
Mr. Brightside got tired of narrating.
He leaves the job to the anonymous other.
Who is this anonymous other?
No. Not the computer itself. Don't be stupid.
No. Not some slave from India or Timbaktu.
No, definitely not C-3PO or Jar Jar Binks.
It is none other than Light Sour o0O!

Meet Light Sour o0O.
Light Sour is a pain in the ass.
He update his blog to kick some ass.
He is Philemon's inflamed sense of sourness.

Oh, here we go again...
Last 2 Thursdays, I went for MUFY Talent Quest.
Yeah. TALENT Quest.
Yes, I do notice the irony and contradiction.
Although pestered to participate by my friends,
I ignored them like a Typical Malaysian.
Who always go, "Whatever." "Dunno. Dun care."
In fact, some people actually thought I did d-_-b
Even so, I just went there as an audience.
It started off with a girl singing High School Musical...
Too bad for her, the mic didn't work the first 3 attempts.
Then many people went by doing below average singing.
My guess is due to Sunway College's sound system.
Sunway College boleh! The sound system rules!
In fact too much to the point the echo overrules everything.
There was some people who did good ones though.
One of them even beatboxed which was actually good.
3 of my friends participated in as a dancing team.
They did songs like toxic and they did it quite well!
All because of my prior constructive criticisms.
However, they did not win any awards due to...
...unforeseen consequences where lecturers...
...called them sluts for what they wear...
...which was not even a bit sexy...envious lecturers...

Talking about TALENT and not contradicting it.
Let's just get to the top three starting from the 3rd.
My friend - Pooja who is a belly-dancing teacher.
She has her own studio and teaches this.
She gave me her card and I seriously considered it.
Well, she shaked that hips...Her hips didn't lie!
Her pants weren't on fire! My eyes weren't lying!
The ass-shaking went for minutes, stunning audience.
It was like a stun grenade thrown in which lasted for minutes.
Reminded me of my high school teacher who was like a flashbang.
He's bald head was so shiny it reflected every single light beam!
Second was an African couple which had diva voices...
They're voice was totally blew my eardrums away.
But I was able to regenerate back my eardrums immediately.
First was 3 people singing Umbrella and some Malay song...
Good but not that TALENTED...Surprised they even got top 3.
And in fact they got First. The judges are...well..."TALENTED".

Last 2 Fridays, I went to Joseph's house for dinner!
Yum...yum...never had good food since Ipoh!
Love that salad and spaghetti! Thanx lotz! Invi me again!
The next day, I went out with Jmay & Weng Sum.
In the end of the day, Jmay was really furious at one thing.
Whereas, I was really disappointed and angered at one thing.
Why so? It is because we wasted our money...
...watching one film scarring the name of a good game:

================
Max Payne
================

This film is an adaptation to the video game with the same name.
Max Payne indeed was an awesome game spawning off this film.
When I had a glimpse of the trailer, dark winged creatures appeared.
Instantly, I criticized it as it does not exist at all in the video game.

Having low expectations as it is a film based on a video game,
I watched it to realize that the dark angels are just hallucinations.
The film certainly implemented a massive change compared to the game.
However, there are of course lots of things taken in from the game.
The video game was indeed dark and noir.
However, the film aspires to do just the same...only better.
This was where it fell. It tried to reach The Dark Knight's screenplay.
It just utterly collapsed with the failed attempts of capturing emotions.
I felt no emotions watching this scenes. Emotions were bland.
The action scenes were completely bland too. No intensity involved.
The video game was popular due to they're "Bullet Time".
Bullet Time is where everything slows down except Max himself.
That's Max Payne's main highlight. However, it was only once.
Some may call it twice but the second is totally not one.
If you even played the game, the depicted bullet time...
...was so fake and different compared to the original.
It was not even what you call bullet time. It was bullshit.

The film failed at everything except one thing:
Totally smearing the name of the excellent video game.

[Rating: 2/10]
[Conclusion: Max Payne in the Ass]

Last Friday, my English lecturer asked me to be a teacher.
Later in the evening, I went out with my Sunway CF mates.
Due to my friend, Joey's belated birthday,
A bunch of us fled to seek refuge in Sunway Pyramid.
Running from what seems to be non-existant.
We had dinner at somewhere that the birthday boy hated.
Thanks to our complete ignorance, we ate at KFC anyways.
Somehow, we found ourselves being archers shooting arrows.
I bailed on that as I was too excited for the upcoming film.
It was just minutes away and I didn't want to spend more cash.
What film you may ask?

Well, I have a confession to make...I liked High School Musical.
There, you have it. I'll give the first [Rating: 7/10].
However, the 2nd didn't impress me with a [Rating: 5/10]

After hours trying to book the day prior,
My friend finally got it covered and finally we got a seat.
At the front row.....four rows from the front to be precise.
It was actually still okay as it is not as bottom as bikini bottom.
Without popcorns, I entered the threatres for the premiere of:

===========================================
High School Musical 3: Senior Year
===========================================

So far, being called as the last of the trilogy...finally....
High School Musical 3 starts off with a sweaty Zac Efron.
Okay, spoiler ends here. Let's talk about the cast.
I hate the main couple, Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens.
Zac Efron can't sing in real life and is vain about his hair.
Vanessa Hudgens is a slut with her nude pic posted online.
I like the antagonist couple though, the Evan siblings.
Yeah, I know that Ashley Tisdale got a nosejob.
But who cares as long she doesn't look like Paris Hilton?
The one who can sing better and act better are these two.
I couldn't care less about the rest of the cast...

Okay, since this is a musical as mentioned in the title.
This is one oddball. The songs are weirder and awkward.
Completely distinct from the previous two installments.
Only one or two of them were enjoyable and nice.
Speaking without any discrimination or prejudice,
They are the ones with Sharpay and Ryan Evans.
Other hits were sometimes simply ear-shearing.
It was like Shaun just "Wo Fei" out of nowhere...
...and just cut my ears with shears and then vanish.

The plot this time is not so rigid unlike the first 2 films.
It lacks the emphasis on the storyline.
It is just like asking, "How old are you?"
To which someone answers, "Oh, I'm a girl!"
You simply get lost without knowing the story at points.
As always, Sharpay will be the girl with the "attitude".
Ryan Evans will be as jolly and queer as always.
The main couple will be cuddly as always and forever.
There's memorable moments and references of previous films.
Especially, Sharpay's one and only "Mah! Mah! Prrrr! Prrrr!"
Unexpectedly, introducing new characters in the final film was...
...actually not bad as some were just simply lovable...sometimes...
To sum the final film, it was awkward and utterly disappointing.
As both a semi-fan and film critic, it was a happy ending...NOT!!!
But it is definitely A WORLD LOT better than Max Payne.

To really super duper big fans, this is what I have to say to you:
You'll either really love it big time or simply hate it.

[Rating: 3/10]
[Conclusion: Too Senior for High School]

After the film, everyone turned emo for a moment.
Several moments later, we found ourselves at Latte at 8.
We saw Jason Lo there but we just walked pass him.
Ignorance is bliss. That's the code of Malaysians.
We walked around outside Pyramid for quite a while.
Only to find ourselves inside Pyramid again, playing pool.
Birthday boy found himself as a good pool player.
As for me, I saw my potential in pool as I'm a newbie.
However, everytime I'm always left in a pinch! Despair!
Since then, everyone started using, "I'm in a pinch!"
And somehow talks about sticks and balls started...
It was meant as normal thing but it sounded wrong.
Some were enjoying from that talk but some didn't.
Me? I was just busy hitting balls with my stick.
Yeah, that sounded wrong now, doesn't it?

Later, Pyramid closed and we stayed in playing cards.
We met two guys kicking trash cans and misplacing stuff.
Nasty little rascals! Eitherways, we are Malaysians.
Ignorance is the way we live our lives in Malaysia.
We decided to stay in but got shoo-ed around 3 a.m.
We then decided to head home with a trolley.

Meet Mr. Brightside.
Mr. Brightside is the opposite of Light Sour.
He thinks that Light Sour should stop being sour.
He is Philemon's inflamed sense of adequacy.

We have good news and bad news.
The bad news is Light Sour is on leave currently.
Apparently, he was too sour that the light wasn't working.
The doctors note were:
"Light Sour has a broken ear drum from TALENT quest."
"Light Sour experienced a max pain in the ass."
"Light Sour experienced his senior years."
"Light Sour has lack of sleep."

The good news is that Mr. Brightside is here!
Since Light Sour has already mentioned almost everything,
Mr. Brightside has nothing else to say except about his apartment!
Where does Mr. Brightside live?
The Mushroom Kingdom!

As you enter the house, you see shoes lying all over the floor.
As you can see, the door is patch as it was broken by my ex-housemate.
The doorknob was broken so he just broke the door to enter!

This is how empty my living room is.
Nothing else but just junk and useless furniture.
Except for the modem at the side there which I use!
Look at the long cable connected to my room!

The kitchen which I only use to get water to boil water.
A week ago, the stove is actually totally on the floor.

My room door from inside my room.
Equipped with jacket and jeans!
Also, my epic Dark Knight poster =D

More posters in my room with a mirror and a belt.
You can see the reflection of me camwhoring my room.

At the side there are curtains blocking the windows.
Outside the window is the corridor where everyone can see me.
p.s. The curtain did not cover the whole window...
People may have already caught me nekkid =O

More posters together with my epic fail PC at the corner.
It keeps giving me one long beep and two short beeps at startup.
I always give it a smacking to show how much I love it.
That's how Malaysians roll: Smack it and it'll work!

My bed equipped with many posters and a computer in front.
Proves how much movie I have stored in my computer =D
I'm no couch potato! I'm a bed potato? More like a lion! RAWR!!

Outside my room, behind the kitchen, lies the toilet...
Why is my apartment named Mushroom Kingdom?
At the side of the toilet's door, lies a mushroom! Fungi Mushroom!
If I eat it, I'll get an extra life like in every Super Mario games!

Meet Mr. Brightside.

Mr. Brightside has a mushroom in his apartment.
He went "Eww...Gross!!!!" and screamed out loud.
He is Philemon's inflamed sense of unsavoriness.

Mr. Brightside Returns

2008-10-12T05:13:00.000-07:00

Meet Mr. Brightside.

Mr. Brightside returns back after over 2 weeks.
He must update his blog or people will go on pestering.
He is Philemon's inflamed sense of agitation.

Mr. Brightside has been gone for more than two whole weeks!
Is he dead? Is he hospitalized? Is he even okay?
Mr. Brightside says yes and asks you to shut the hell up.
Mr. Brightside just returned to his hometown, Ipoh for raya.
What did he do there? Did he got hurt there?
Mr Brightside says patience is a virtue and shushes you.

This is what happened in Ipoh during Raya.
The Friday before raya week, he met Rachel Lim in Pyramid.
He hitchhiked her dad's car back to Ipoh.
Mr. Brightside wishes to thank Rachel Lim's dad a gazillion times.

The following day, he went out with friends and pwn players.
After pwning and getting pwned in video games,
They went to the hawker stalls besides a school named Sam Tet.
They enjoyed Lolos...especially Benjamin Tan. He loves someone's lolos.
What is a Lolo?
It's something like Ais Kacang but instead they put fruits and milk.
Is it even as good as Ais Kacang?
Mr. Brightside says yes and asks you to shut it.

That Sunday, he went to his church VCC and had Pot Bless.
What is a Pot Bless?
It's like a buffet where everyone cooks or buys 'em.
Mr. Brightside felt Ipoh was food paradise ever since he got back.
That Sunday afternoon, he went to CGMC for youth, MYF.
Mr. Brightside had lotsa fun and lol'd at Cap'n Ball.
He ate legendary food for dinner with his friends later.
What is Legendary Food?
A food that takes ages to come as if it's legendary.
Mr. Brightside says patience is a virtue.

The Monday of the raya week, he went out with classmates.
Almost everyone did not know what cinema tickets we had.
Until the movie started:

=====================
Mamma Mia!
=====================

Mama Mia! Here we go again...My, my...
Guess how the movie started?
The movie started with: "I have a dream...a song to sing..."
With a girl standing on a raft, rowing it gently down the stream.
As my big group of friends saw this, they started looking at Weng Sum.
He's the one who bought the tickets and we started calling out his name.

Regardless of that, I ignored the ZOMGWTFBBQ start.
The story? It's no Super Mario's Mamma Mia!
This story is about a girl who is getting married on an island.
She has a mom who happens to be a whore or a slut.
She doesn't know who was her real daddy. Why?
Cause her mommy had sex with 3 guys around the same time.
The girl wants the person who give her up to be her daddy.
Without brains, the girl invites all 3 daddy candidates.
Then it all goes haywire all because of her horny harlot mom.

The musical was all by Abba. It was indeed Abba-ish.
But the choreography was indeed not Abba-ish, just rubbish.
The storyline? It's a musical so it doesn't matter but it's okay anyways.
The acting was not convincing as well as the direction.
It's just that there was no "wanting for more" factor.
Unless you're an Abba or Mama Mia! fan, you'll want more songs.
Apart from that, you'll be wishing the movie will end soon.
With all the new musical films such as Enchanted and Sweeny Todd,
This film only proves why people are not into musicals.
But Thank God this was not another High School Musical.

[Rating: 4/10]
[Conclusion: Mamma Mia!]

Apart from the gaming and pwning, let's talk about Tuesday.
What's so special about Tuesday in Ipoh?
Night Market or more known as "Pasar Malam".
He went out with a big bunch which eventually got seperated.
Mr. Brightside had tasted lots of scrummy food and drinks there.
From fried ice to hotdogs, he and his friends had a great time.
With lots of nonsense and food, they were entertained.
Eventually it ended in gaming again...

The next day was the first day of Raya, Wednesday.
Mr. Brightside went to his Hazmy's house with classmates.
Ah!! Raya food is really "merayakan"...whatever that means.
And it eventually ended in gaming again...
Later, they went downstairs for McDonalds.
So happens that he had my signature McDonalds' Kids Card.
What happens next?
More than a dozen of them got free ice cream or fries.
Certainly an extra better edition of a Happy Meal =D
What happens next?
ISCF friends called Mr. Brightside out later.
And it eventually ended in gaming again...yes...again...

Again and again till Friday where Mr. Brightside went to theatres for:

================
Eagle Eye
================

This movie has a "I, Robot" (film) and Portal (video game) storyline.
It's the kind of film where almost everything's cliché...
...but yet you can enjoy watching it...
There were certain scenes that was nice but there were only few.
There was certainly nothing memorable in this movie at all.

Well, if you don't understand, well here's the how it starts off...
Man and woman receive call from anonymous stranger.
Ask them to do something or else he die and her son die.
Something like, "You have been activated."
Then something like, "Disobey and you die".
Later something like, "You have 5 seconds to duck."

The plot? Too simple too figure out as they tell you everything.
The jokes? I don't remember any. If there was, it ain't that funny.
The thrill? I could barely feel the thrill at all...no suspense...
The action? As mentioned before, certain few scenes only.
You'll be longing for more action but there's just not enough.
And sometimes, the action is just too plain or obvious.
With all those many flaws, this film seems like a doo-doo.
Don't get it wrong, you still can enjoy this B-Rated film.
Although the execution of this film is bad, it's still watchable.

[Rating: 4/10]
[Conclusion: Pigeon Eye]

Certainly, my friends and I made fun of it.
Imagine that I have an anonymous caller saying:
"You have been activated. Follow every word I say."
I'll be like, "Oh, hey. Wassup? How about this Thursday night?"
The voice will be like, "You have 10 minutes to kill Jeremy!"
I'll be like, "Haha. I could do that in 1 but why would I do that?"
The voice will be like, "Disobey me and I steal your cookie!"
And I'll kill Jeremy almost immediately.
But if the voice asks me to kneel down before it.
Shas would scold me and rebuke me.
And I most probably would ask him to pack his bags and leave.
To which he'll ask me to mark in down in the calender...

And as you guessed it...
It eventually ended in gaming again...
Even after finishing my assignments on Saturday,
It eventually ended in gaming again...
And of course, gamings usually lead to suppers...
All the week's suppers were so delicious!
To the point that Mr. Brightside wants to lick the plate.
Even Mamak food is as nice as Ipoh's McDonalds.

That certainly didn't make any sense but...
Mr. Brightside had to leave on Sunday.
After church at VCC, he ate Cheese Baked Rice.
That is his last happy meal ever in Ipoh.
Right after, he hitchhiked his Pastor's car.
Dropped off at Subang Parade, he missed Ipoh instantly.
He's gonna miss the food so badly, extremely badly...
Why?
Because food in Sunway sucks...

It was Tuesday then. It was MUFY Sharity Day...
What is MUFY Sharity Day?
Monash University Foundation Year Charity Drive...umm...Day...
Somehow, Mr. Brightside was selling tickets for Sharity Day that day.
Waving tickets in the air and howling nonsense indeed attracted customers.
"Buy one ticket and save a starving kid from dying in Africa!"
"Buy one, Get one!"
"Be a man. Do the right thing. Buy one!"
"You better buy one or I CUT OFF YOUR HANDS!"
Those are few of the lines howled by Mr. Brightside.
It felt like he was in Pudu selling bus tickets...
Not only that Mr. Brightside also supported by other means...
Like buying nice as well as disgusting food and drinks.
Also forced to finish off his coupon tickets on a deco-object...

And it eventually ended in...NO!!! Not gaming again finally!!!
It eventually ended with him in the Henna booth with his friend, May.
What is Henna?
An art which could be considered a temporary tattoo...
She drew nonsense all over his arms and face...and even polish my nails.
To which he tried to remove with Nail Polish remover but it made it worse...
It looks like he damaged my fingernails or something...anyways...He let it be...
As he rubbed away ugly Henna art, there are some that stayed all the way...
May is a bad artist D=<
Eventually, Mr. Brightside...no...no more gaming...not in Ipoh anymore!
Mr. Brightside was forced to live with few obvious henna marks for few weeks...

"Let's put a smile on your face!" May said. T_T

Somehow, he drew a "LION!" henna on his left hand himself...

Mr. Brightside facepalmed after he saw his face defiled by tainted by barbarities.

Mr. Brightside does not wish to go on further with the attaint.
But there was one really bad news...Jon Silendra got Dengue Fever...
Just got out of the hospital...hopefully...he'll be back in shape in no time!
My friend said, "Hope he don't die!"
I said, "Touch wood! Touch wood! Choi! Choi!" Stupid person.
I've been bitten by alot of mosquitoes recently...
I hope it won't be me next... =O
The blood of Christ shall protect me! The blood of Christ shall protect me!
Out! Out! Brief mosquito! The way to dusty death!

He found himself on Thursday in Sunway CF.
And started singing "True Love's Kiss" from Enchanted...
And forced to sing songs by Jonas Brothers...
And realized that he has a "your voice not bad ar~"
Filled with extreme pride, he ate at Burger King with fellow CF-ers.
All of a sudden, they started talking about toilets and disgusting stuff.
And it eventually ended with sleeping instead of gaming...

The following Friday, as Mr. Brightside was going to go to campus,
The landlady came rushing in and hitting the door as he was showering.
He quickly finished off and rushed out...
A little background:
After he came back to his apartment in Sunway from Ipoh,
Mr. Brightside just realized his housemate moved out.
About few days later like Tuesday or something,
Another couple moved in. A fat Malay lady and a dark-skinned man.
Ever since they moved in, all Mr. Brightside see was the fat lady once...
He heard her shower in the toilet and use his toiletries (shampoo and stuff).
After she left, he headed for the toilet, the mat outside was soaked wet.
He then checked inside, the whole toilet paper roll was wet inside out!
And she broke the handle that suppose to hold clothes! WHOA!
Just how violently fat is she? And she is really scary-looking too!
As he suspected, he saw his toiletries out of place.
She's been using it without permission!
The day prior:
Mr. Brightside was collecting his new key from the landlady.
She said that the new couple that moved in did not pay their rent.
Therefore, she had to change the lock so that they can't enter.
And they have been avoiding her and even changed their number.
The landlady told him that to tell them to see her if they want the key.
Later in his apartment, Mr. Brightside saw them the second time.
They shouted at him. They forced him to unlock the door.
Mr. Brightside asked them to shut up and go see the landlady.
They were never heard from since...
As Mr. Brightside got out of the shower, there stood the landlady.
She opened the door to the new housemate's room.
Inside the room was my other housemate from another room.
The other housemate was a lady living with her husband.
Much to her surprise, she found her stuff inside their cabinet!
Grand Theft Auto! She didn't even realize she lost them!
Ninja Gaiden! Her cell, pendrive and even her lingerie!!!
Everything inside smells and seems like stolen stuff.
After taking back what's rightfully hers,
We threw away most of their furniture.
I never knew that my neighbour was a fat ninja pirate queen!
Thank God I did not lose anything. Thank God!

Friday came...Joseph asked him to go out for a basketball game.
He agreed and proved that he sucked big time at it.
Anyways, it was worth it as he got to see Joseph's huge ass of a house!
He told Joseph he was trying to be a typical Malaysian...
So he told him that he would definitely camwhore his house which he did.

"Awesome house is awesome. Awesome house in Bangsar."

"He turned his cell to the left and this is what he got."

"As he walked towards the entrance, next to it lied the foyer"

"As he entered, there lied the grand living hall..."

"He walked further to see the grand dining hall..."

"As he turned to the left, there lied the room with a pool table!"

"Joseph has a dog, CJ, named after GTA: San Andreas' main character!"

Meet Mr. Brightside.

Awesome Mr. Brightside is awesome.
Handsome Mr. Brightside is handsome.
He is Philemon's inflamed sense of honesty.

Psycho - Pathology !!!

2008-09-20T08:30:00.000-07:00

Meet Mr. Brightside.
He forgotten to camwhore this week,
Henceforth, he is not a good camwhore like you.
He is Philemon's inflamed sense of decadency....NOT!!!

Let's take a look at Friday. Philemon, who was totally unprepared yet enlightened, sat for his unsettling Computer Science test. He found no discommode at the MCQs but when he came to the subjective section of the paper, Philemon found himself completely bedazzled at the befuddling questions given. The questions were merely to play tricks in your head like the Kangaroos from Australia, where the papers were from. The indirect and obscuring questions certainly even raised an alarm to the teachers during the test. As they bicker about the bewildering questions, Philemon decided that he just pass up the paper and get his rear end out of the inept joint of classes where it was held.

Along with his happy three friends, Joseph, Yu Ji and Ashwin. They positioned their trust on Joseph as he brought them with his father's aesthetic automobile towards Sunway Pyramid, where Philemon always drained his pockets everytime. Yet another time, the four Computer Science students found themselves in a middle of an MCQ. A gruelling question regarding the film to savour in. The conclusion was:

================
Pathology
================

As they approached the big screen with soft drinks and popcorn, they watched the film. Somewhere around the middle, Yu Ji received a phone call. She picked it up. Thank heavens that she spoke quite gently as she mentioned that she was in a theatre. She mentioned that she was watching "Pathogen" causing an uproar. Even her anserine questions remind me of the Computer Science test prior.

Being Philemon, he will always be the Simon Cowell of movies. The film was concerning doctors and corpses. It was indeed revolting and disgusting. The storyline was mediocre as well as the screenplay and direction. Everything was so mediocre to the point of causing the film to be a drag. There were indeed some sickening scenes which was barely exhilarating. Although there were scenes that were meant for suspense, it just failed. The film could have done so much better if not for the Malaysian Censorship Board. Philemon had just turned 18 and the film was too rated 18 and above. However, the film was cut almost 20 minutes and almost a hundred times. The movie was deadening like the corpses but it taught me one word. One word which Philemon would love to reminisce about later.

[Rating: 3/10]
[Conclusion: Just like a Cadaver]

After the film, everyone responsively eliminated their liquid excretory product. It was more than an hour past the what Malaysians anticipate as "buka puasa". The fantastic four indulged their appetite in Jack Daniel's meal in TGIF where the Bill Kills instead. Nevertheless, Philemon truly reveled in his repast. Moving on, the group of four found themselves next to a Ronald McDonald landmark in Pyramid which was taking a seat on a bench, staring straight into Wendy's. All of them knew that McDonalds would someday take interest in a female adversary. They proceeded to take advantage of the seemingly inanimate Ronald McDonald. They McMolested him. They McTwist his inconspicuous nipples. They kick him in his Big Mac. They gave him a McFrench kiss. They messed with him so much that they were pretty sure that he lost his McVirginity. Leaving the hapless matter alone, a pair of girls took over and continued violating his McRights, McCam-whoring with Ronald McDonald. The four eminent individuals spotted a female Computer Science lecturer to which we greet. Within few seconds, they spotted noticed a male Computer Science lecturer to which we told the female one: "Oooooooooooooohhhhh!!!!" She flushed and she blushed as she explained to them that they were married. Leaving the crimsoned couple alone, they marveled that there could be a possibility that their teacher is actually making up an excuse for going out but they bothered no longer as they got themselves luscious dessert before they return back to their respective humble abodes.

Back at home, Philemon reminisce about the one word he learnt from the film he watched. The word was Buzzkill. It was the English word for "Fong Fei Kei" or "Potong Stim". As he recollect back what he has learnt, there were plenty others which he forgotten. Antecedently, Philemon used Party Pooper or Spoilsport. However, it only meant to spoil to fun. "Fong Fei Kei" or "Potong Stim" could also mean to break promise at the very last minute which does not suit the word 'Party Pooper' or 'Spoilsport'. Buzzkill was the word. To Philemon's astonishment, there were more words to the likes of Buzzkill such as Killjoy, Wet Blanket and FKO which delineates Fun Knock-Out. Therefore, Philemon has reached a conclusion. The most suitable English words for "Fong Fei Kei" and "Potong Stim" is Buzzkill, Killjoy, Wet Blanket or FKO depending on the situation. Philemon prefers to use Buzzkill and Killjoy above the rest and here Philemon rests his case.

Meet Mr. Brightside.
He always get a Wet Blanket,
So he can pass around to you!
He is Philemon's inflamed sense of retribution.

We are not at rest yet as Adrian has tagged Philemon a long time ago.
Philemon decided that he should finally take off the burden and get rid of it.

The rules are simple.
1. You shall put your music player on shuffle.
2. You shall press forward for each question.
3. You shall use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn't make sense. NO CHEATING!
4. You shall give your own comments on how it relates to the questions.

How are you feeling today?
Almost Easy by Avenged Sevenfold
[Chillaxing to the max!! Taking it easy, baby!]

Will you get far in life?
Rockstar by Nickelback
[I'm gonna be Rockstar! Groovy, Baby, YEAHHH!!!]

How do your friends see you?
Hallelujah by Paramore
[Praise the Lord indeed!!! Yeah!!!]

What is your best friend's theme song?
Money Right by Flo Rida
[My best friend loves money right!]

What is the story of your life?
Hot N' Cold by Katy Perry
[Wow, this is pretty accurate. I am HAWT and Cold-hearted!]

What was high school like?
Careful Where You Stand by Coldplay
[Careful where I stand? I just totally can't stand it!]

How can you get ahead in life?
If I Never See Your Face Again by Maroon 5
[Yeah! If I never see your face again, I can get ahead in life!]

What is the best thing about your friends?
Make Me Better by Fabolous
[They make me better? More like I make them better =P ]

What is in the store for this weekend?
That's What You Get by Paramore
[Well, I get what I get! Like duh!]

How is your life going?
Mad World by Gary Jules
[It is a Mad World out there! Especially when I'm in it!]

What song will they play on your funeral?
Bright Lights by Matchbox Twenty
[Mr. Brightside indeed...]

What do your friends really think about you?
Sonny by Funeral For A Friend
[They obviously think of me as a male child...]

Do people secretly lust about you?
The Red by Chevelle
[Oh, NO!!! You all lust my blood!! Or just my violence? =P]

How can I make myself happy?
Things I Don't Understand by Coldplay
[That proves that I shouldn't have gone to school at all]

What should you do with your life?
Victims of Love by Good Charlotte
[I should be a victim of love! Groovy, baby, YEAHHH!!! ]

Will you ever have children?
Glamorous by Fergie
[I'll have glamorous children! Glamorous like me!!!!]

Meet Mr. Brightside.
He does not like to tag or be tagged,
So don't tag or he will tag you!
He is Philemon's inflamed sense of chafe.

Money No Enough 2 + Black Water = Birthday

2008-09-17T01:27:00.000-07:00

Meet Mr. Brightside.
Although he just turned 18,
He is still older than you.
He is Philemon's inflamed sense of antiquity.

Two Days before my Birthday = Friday.
I went Ice skating with five of mah college buddies...
I fell down 3 times and it hurt mah butt for 3 days...OUCH!!
All of mah buddies knew how to skate except for me...
...and another who fears falling...
I just practically suck at skating somehow T____T
Everyone enjoyed skating freely around.
I was like hanging on the walls and tripping for few hours!
ARGH!!! Sweet irony! Sweet agony!!!
On the brightside, Everyone had fun....kinda...
Later, I ate only one Cheese Naan at 'Mantra' for RM16.
The curries with it made the price sky high.
ARGH!!! The hole! The hole in my wallet!!!
On the brightside, I miss Ipoh much more now.

The Day Before My Birthday = Saturday.
Met up with my high school buddies...
Ivan, Edward and Hazmy.
Ivan was Soul Calibur 4-ing with the XBOX 360 in Pyramid.
Almost an hour later, Silendra finally arrived.
We decided to watch a movie after few root beers.

==========================
Money No Enough II
==========================

Yes, I watched a Singaporean film.
I really wanted to watch it somehow...
At the start, it was really funny...
Didn't get some jokes as I am a ripe banana.

The storyline and plot is almost cliché. But who cares?
It's obvious that their Money No Enough later.
Since the movie title says so...so its all about quality direction.
As the film moves towards the middle of the film,
It shows that Singaporeans are really kia su and kia si.
Meaning afraid to lose and afraid to die...pure jerks.
As it reaches the climax, the film made me hate Singaporeans.

There is original and lame jokes which we all laugh at.
But there is also scenes were we are suppose to cry at.
At parts so touching that could almost make men drop a tear,
My friends and I will be praying for no sad emo songs to appear.
However, our pray didn't work. The song began playing.
I can see people crying as it was REALLLY SADDDD...
I wish I could have cried with them as IT WAS FRIGGIN' SAD!!!

After the movie ended,
My friends and I wanted to KILL ALL SINGAPOREANS!!!!
We kept cursing Singaporeans as they were #$%^$#$@$%#$^!!!
Not because the movie sucked, the movie was fine.
It's because it proves to us that Singaporeans are @#Q$!@%!@$#!!!

You should watch this film...even if you don't understand Chinese.
There's subtitles if you don't know Hokkien and Mandarin.
And join me in my ANTI-SINGAPOREANS group!

[Rating: 6/10]
[Conclusion: Blasted Singaporeans!!!]

As we cursed Singaporeans,
Ivan wanted to buy the same jacket I had.
So I brought him to the place I bought it.
Then we looked like twins d-_-b
We then buka puasa at Carl's Junior.
It seems to be my regular weekly meal d-_-b
Then I was too full to remember anything after that.

The Day Before The Day After My Birthday = Sunday.

Went out with other college mates.
This time with Joseph, Shane, Elisha & Joel.

First and foremost, I'd love to rant about Malaysians.
A deadly disease spreading even Indons & Burmese people.
The deadly disease known as Fong Fei Kei.
Typical Malaysians always love to do that.
For example, I had a plan for Sunday already.
But fong fei kei'd by my other Ipoh friends.
Then another case, other 10 frenz that suppose to come,
Fong fei kei'd last minute.....
On the brightside, I can fong fei kei them back =D

Originally, it's gonna be my 3rd day at Pyramid.
But change of plans, we head to Curve/Ikano/CineLeisure.
All thanks to Mr. Joseph and his father's car.
Again, we bought a ticket for a movie.
In CineLeisure, they had Salty Popcorns instead of Caramel.
I bought that and I regreted as it tasted like EWWWWW....
(As Shaun would say, "Man's Gravy".)
On the brightside, I tasted salty popcorns for the first time!

==========================
Black Water

==========================

As the movie started, two big words appear - "Black Water"
As I looked down a little bit, there was malay subtitles.
It was, "Hitam Buaya". I was like HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
Black Water and Crocodile Black has a lot of difference.
Who's the retard who didn't know how to translate it to "Air Hitam"?
Maybe Joan...

The movie started... ...boring...
The movie continued... ...boring...
The movie ended... ...boring...

It was about a couple and a sister trapped in a swamp with one crocodile.
They were attacked as they travelled through the river by a boat.
Then the crocodile attacked and overturned the boat.
The three then continued stranded on a tree.
80% of the film was all on a tree. How friggin' boring is that?
On the brightside, I got a good sleep....sorta.....I didn't really sleep...

[Rating: 1/10]
[Conclusion: As boring as a "Black Screen"]

Before going home we went walking around....

As Shane was bedazzled by Guitar Hero,

Elisha immediately posed seeing me taking pictures.

Joel never failed to be blur as ever...

And Joseph never failed to be himself...

I found a V for Vendetta mask in a store and was amused!

Joseph was even more amused as his a big fan of V.

The Day After My Birthday = Monday.
My good old college buddies who fong fei kei'd me later called me up.
They forced me to wake 3 hours earlier and go to campus.
They wanted to "apologize" with a cake =D
After 3 hours of begging me, I agreed to go.
Cheese cake! YAY!!! GNOM NOM NOM!!!!
Thanks Anna and Michelle for the Secret Recipe!!!
I don't got the pictures though =(

They put 18 candles on it and Michelle dropped lotsa wax on the cake.
After singing, they took out the candles...the holes were like OMG!!!
We thought the holes were kinda disgusting...until...
We cut the cake which made it look even more disgusting...
To them it was, to me I was like OMG I LOVE CHEESE & CAKES!!!!!
Thanks all of you who ate cake with me =)

The Day After The Day After My Birthday = Tuesday.
After school, Michelle, Anna, Elisha, Shane & I went to Pyramid.
Thanks a lot, Joseph for the wonderful ride again!!!
Joseph is like the transporter...I owe him a LOT...

We walked around as always until we came here...

The Matrix reality portal were we entered...

Shane found himself driving in that realm...

Elisha found herself posting at the arcade...

I found myself great-looking...somewhere else...

And realized that I am a wanted criminal...

Until I woke up...

And realized I was dreaming about the upcoming film "Shotgun".

Thanks a lot, Shane & Elisha for EVERYTHING!!!!!

Meet Mr. Brightside.

Although he just turned 18,
He is still older than you.
He is Philemon's inflamed sense of antiquity.

Now let's take a look at YOUR COMMENTS...

No updates cause I got TAGGED!!!

2008-09-16T09:35:00.000-07:00

What happened on my Birthday??
That's gotta come later, cause I got tagged!!!
Oh noess!!! Tell me about it!

[JONAN TAGGED ME =O]

1. The last person to tag you is?
Nobody...or I guess I didn't know what was tag before this...freaking tags...

2. Your relationship with him/her ?
Relationship with nobody? Ummm...complete strangers....

3. Your 5 impression towards him/her ?
Only one. Nobody is perfect.

4. The most memorable thing that he/she has ever done for you ?
Being a nobody.

5. The most memorable words that he/she spoke to you ?
"..."

6. If he/she becomes your lover, you will...
be in a mental institute.

7. If he/she becomes your enemy, you will..
be fighting my shadow.

8. If he/she becomes your lover, he/she has to improve on...
existing.

9. If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason is...
failure to exist.

10. The most desirable things to do for him/her is...
ignoring nobody.

11. Overall impression towards him/her is...
nobody...

12. How do you think the people around you will feel about you ?
Mr. Brightside.

13. The character for you for yourself is ?
Philemon, himself?

14. On contrary, the character you hate of yourself is?
ummm......I'm not emo....

15. The most ideal person you want to be is?
Jesus...

16. For the person who cares and likes you, say something about him/her.
Give up!

17. Ten people to tag.

1. Conty
2. Abel
3. Serene
4. Jeremy
5. Benjamin
6. Shas
7. Edward
8. Joan
9. Shaun
10. Ivan

18. Who is number 2 having a relationship with ? [abel]
Goodness Gracious!

19. Is 3 a male or a female ? [Serene]
Male lah~ duh...

20. If number 7 and 10 got together, would that be a good thing ? [Ivan & Edward]
2 Gay Drummers d-_-b

21. How about 5 and 8 ? [Benjamin and Joan]
High people and retards might just get together...

22. What is number 1 studying about ? [Conty]
JimmiNutronKettlePot?

23. When was the last time you had a chat with them ?
Recently...right?

24. Is number 4 single ? [Jeremy]
He can't stand to be single anymore =D

25. Say something about number 2. [abel]
Abeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel....

[LI XIN TAGGED ME]
Thanks for nominating my blog, Li Xin!
And wishing me too!!!

♥If you could spend one ringgit in 5 minutes,what would you spend on?
Go to the dollar shop and buy something...

♥What is your most favorite thing to do?
Hangout!

♥What kind of news do you read?
No money for newspaper...

♥What would you give up in return to eat all you want in the world and not get fat?
Studying!!!

♥Is there someone in your heart right now?
Jesus!!!!!

♥Do you believe you can survive without money?
I can't even survive with the money I have now...

♥What are you afraid to lose the most?
My virginity...

♥What do you feel like doing right now?
Finish all this tags =_=

♥If there's someone that you love,would you confess to him/her?
I would DEFINITELY NOTTTT confess to him...her, DEFINITELY, MAYBE.

♥List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
she loves to online, she loves to chat, she loves webcams.

♥What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
My other half??? What am I? Two-face?

♥What is the thing that will make you think he/she is bad?
If he doesn't buy me a mooncake...

♥If you had to eat one thing for the rest of your life,what would it be?
Eat pork...

♥If you had a choice to be rich or happy,which one would you pick?
Both...

♥If you have a chance,which part of your character you would like to change?
My inability to be Superman.

♥My inability to express myself.
Since when?

♥Who is the person that you can share all your problems with?
Jesus...

♥How do you see yourself in 10 years time?
Eating pork.

♥What is the one thing you love about yourself?
Everything.

♥If you can bring only one thing along with you to another world,what would it be?
My Clothes... (forgot to change this answer d-_-b)

♥TAGGING
1. Conty
2. Abel
3. Serene
4. Jeremy
5. Benjamin
6. Shas
7. Edward
8. Joan
9. Shaun
10. Ivan

WHOA STILL GOT 2nd PART :

1. The last person to tag you is?
Jonan...

2. Your relationship with him/her ?
Friends! Lepak friends!

3. Your 5 impression towards him/her ?
Happy, talkative, friendly, funny, crazy

4. The most memorable thing that he/she has ever done for you ?
Feed me in CoD4.

5. The most memorable words that he/she spoke to you ?
"Hak Yan to ho yi pin Pak Yan"

6. If he/she becomes your lover, you will...
die of AIDS

7. If he/she becomes your enemy, you will..
still die of AIDS

8. If he/she becomes your lover, he/she has to improve on...
turning into a woman.

9. If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason is...
he is my lover?

10. The most desirable things to do for him/her is...
let him kill me once in CoD4

11. Overall impression towards him/her is...
CerealKiller.

(The rest same question like as Jonan's tag)

[TYRAEL TAGGED ME =O]

(Same questions again....3rd time now...)

1. The last person that tagged you is?
Li Xin.

2. Your relationship with him/her?
Friends!!! Online freaks, we are!!

3. Your 5 impression towards him/her
- Friendly
- Loves to chat
- Loves to webcam
- Loves to blog
- Loves to tag

4. The most memorable thing that he/she has ever done for u?
Tag me...its so memorable cause this is like the same tag...

5. The most memorable words that he/she spoke to you?
tagged. =] (and it all started d-_-b )

6. If he/she becomes your lover, you will...
wonder how did we come to this.

7. If she becomes your enemy, you will..
wonder how did we come to this.

8. If he/she become your lover, he/she has to improve on..
explaining to me how did we come to this.

9. If she becomes your enemy, the reason is..
explaining to me how did we come to this.

10. The most desirable things to do for him/her is..
Chat with her online =D

11. Overall impression towards him/her is..
Online freak like me!

(The rest same question like as Jonan's tag and Li Xin's tag , srsly)

Don't forget to check out KC's story!!! Click here for our "Platitudinous"!

Judge This: Deception

2008-09-08T07:24:00.000-07:00

Meet Mr. Brightside.
Although he can't shine,
He is still better than you at it.
He is Philemon's inflamed sense of shininess.

Last Friday...
It was Philemon English oral presentation.
Presenting:

"Sex Education in Malaysia"Barney teaches kids about sex!

Not his first choice, he had no choice.

Teacher suggested that topic.
He don't seem to have any choice.
CF on Thursday was about sex.
So he got some idea from it =D
He sucked at his presentation D=

Regardless of that, he found himself in Pyramid soon after.
His friend, Andrew (Indon-dude) bought movie tickets already.

Andrew exclaimed, "Why you eat my cookies!"

Although we were late for the movie by 20 minutes.
Andrew bought it even though we were 10 minutes late.
Andrew wanted to watch it so badly so...
Philemon had no choice but to watch:

===================
Deception
===================

Malaysia have once again intruded the theatres.
They had cut many parts as this show centralized on sex.
As opposed to my oral presentation discouraging free sex.
What's it all about (Don't even bother to read):
This film talks about big time businessmen & businesswomen.
They had no time for relationships so they can't satisfy their lust.
Henceforth, they create a secret service under the radar.
This guy (Evan McGregor) gets into this by this guy (Hugh Jackman).
They call a random number for a woman and sleep with her.
They do this every night and not even telling their identity.
It's free and it doesn't complicate things with business.
This guy (Evan McGregor) falls for this lady (Michele Williams).
Decides not to sleep with her but talk with her.
They get close to each other but suddenly something happens.
The usual drift...the usual suspect...the usual whatever...

It has the usual drag.
It has the usual storyline.
It has the usual hot chicks.
It has the usual hot but cut out sex scenes.
It has the usual expected things that's gonna happen.
It has the usual whatever that anyone is gonna say about it.

I had fun watching this movie somehow. Weird...

[Rating: 3/10]
[Conclusion: Deception = A Misleading Falsehood]

Philemon later rushed to produce puddles.
He met back with the great unwashed, his friends.
The bunch of bananas went to eat Carl's Junior.
Philemon seems to create a habit out of it to eat there.

The bananas split into two. The bunch into two.
I followed the minority who were heading home.
Two for the car, two for the bags. I just want my bag.
So I can gather back with the majority.
Andrew decided to buy a new shirt.
Cause the one his wearing was stained with ketchup.
So his bored three friends went cam-whoring...

Philemon is bedeviled what are this girls trying to kiss.

Philemon, Michelle (Mommy) & Yu Ji (Granddaughter)

Not really formal but he was forced to wear this for his presentation.

Yeah, they are cam-whoring in the well-lit dressing room.

Even more pathetic, Philemon is surrounded by two retards.

His friends never fail to proof that they are complete retards.

Michelle sent him these photos and she asked him:
"Why does it look like my ass is rubbing against your balls?"

After getting back his bag, he met up with the majority.
And Philemon forgot to cam-whore them.
He walked around with them wandering aimlessly.
He sat around with them, wondering absolutely NOTHING.
Until...

Anna (Korean) lost her phone. She found it at Carl's Junior.

And that has absolutely NOTHING to do with NOTHING.
His friends keep asking, "Hey, (insert question here)?"
And his friends and himself would reply, "What?"
And they would lame-ply, "NOTHING."
LAME...
And as a master of lameness, Philemon made a move.
Who kept on tricking them with the NOTHING epicdemic.

It lasted until Monday. Perhaps Tuesday or even till death.
It even went through SMS...LAME...
Speaking of Monday...

His granddaughter's preparation for English oral presentation.

The day prior, Philemon watched a film at home.
It was a rather disgusting one...

=========================================
You Don't Mess With The Zohan
=========================================

Welcome back, Adam Sandler!
He has been gone for ages!
The past films his done such as Click was not him.
This is the real Adam Sandler.
The sick, disgusting and queasy Adam Sandler.

The storyline is obviously obvious.
Plot really doesn't matter here.
This is just a slapstick comedy.
Comedy-wise, there are some few good ones.
However, it is filled with:
-Disgusting ones
-Sick ones
-Perverted ones
-Dirty ones
-Racist ones
-Obvious ones
-Lame ones
-Pretty good ones
-Hummus ones

If those of you watched it and wondered what was Hummus,
I shall reveal to you the truth of the definition of Hummus!
Hummus is:
A thick spread made from mashed chickpeas, tahini, lemon juice and garlic, used especially as a dip for pita and originated in the Middle East.

[Rating: 4/10]
[Conclusion: It Doesn't Get Messier With The Zohan]

Meet Mr. Brightside.
Although he can't shine,
He is still better than you at it.
He is Philemon's inflamed sense of shininess.

Now let's take a look at YOUR COMMENTS...

Judge This: Mr. Brightside

2008-09-02T09:40:00.000-07:00

Meet Mr. Brightside.
Although he is not so bright,
He is still brighter than you.
He is Philemon's inflamed sense of brightness.

Let's take a look at him few weeks back.
He was having his holidays or rather, a break.
It was his classmate's birthday, Muresh.

Muresh was trying to be cool in this photo.
But he pretty much made himself look like a retard.
Compliments to Suk Wai for the pictures.

Here we can see several people behind him.
For Philemon had devised a great plan for him.

Instead of letting his mouth taste the cake's texture,
We allowed his face to taste the cake's texture.
The birthday boy got served.

Unbeknownst to Philemon, there was another plan.
The birthday boy was not the only target.
Philemon received the worst cake-ing that day.
He is Philemon's smirking revenge.
He ascertain that everyone else taste their medicine.
Not medicine, cake instead.

Here Philemon sits, pretty vexed,
As people posed for the final picture.
All he thought of was the moments prior...

Philemon was staring at big connected eyebrows,
As he was entering the theaters for Wall-E.

He was really excited for what's to come.
But he really did not expect to be cake'd.
The moving picture in theatres was great.
The moving picture in the cafe?
http://sukwai.blogspot.com/2008/08/look-at-small-kids.html
Violence ensue in the video. Discretion advised.

Meet Mr. Brightside.
Although he is not so bright,
He is still brighter than you.
He is Philemon's inflamed sense of brightness.

Let's take a look at him few days back.
It was National Day.
He wanted to spread love around him.
Starting from Sunway Pyramid.

He didn't spread much after that.
As he realized he had coulrophobia.
The abnormal fear of clowns.

Philemon encounters a salesman.
He happens to be his friend, Shaun.

Shaun the Dutch.
He was promoting Dutch Lady.
He threaten me as he first detected me.
"I cut your ears with shears!"
I kindly rejected his offer with RM30.
I replied, "Cut my hair with shear."

Let's take a look at Philemon before the shearing.

Philemon looks like a crook.
A professional hijacker or pickpocket.
After the assistance of his shears,
Shaun managed to cut my hair.

Let's take a look at Philemon after the shearing.

Philemon still looks like a crook.
A professional con artist or smuggler.
With his new appearance,
He utilized both his new looks and skills.

To con Shaun for the free haircut.
However, after the phrase "Man's Gravy",
Philemon pukes Carl's Junior out of his system.

Philemon and Shaun was marveling at a question.
Which is worse?

IGNORANCE

APATHY

We both came down to a conclusion.
"We don't know and we don't care."
That is the best answer for that question.

As National Day was coming to an end,
We have to split ways and return home.
Before that, we took our signature shot.

"SHAUN THE DUTCH"

Here, Shaun looks like a serial killer, a homicidal maniac.
Not to be mistaken from Cereal Killer - Jonan.
He seems to be attracted to:
Shears, Dutch Lady and Man's Gravy.
His final words:
"Shut up!!! Or I cut your ears with shears!"

"PHILEMON THE LION"
Here, Philemon looks like a serial rapist, a violent psychopath.
Not to be confused with Cereal Rapist - Kellogg
He seems to be attracted to:
Himself
His final words:
"RAWR!!!"

As Independence Day ended,
Philemon always wondered one thing.
What happened to the extraterresials?
They were supposed to invade Earth.
Where is Will Smith?
Did he already save the world?
Where is Tom Cruise?
Isn't he suppose to invade Earth with Xenu?
Damn Scientology.
Tom Cruise is so going to hell for this.

Meet Mr. Brightside.
Although he is not so bright,
He is still brighter than you.
He is Philemon's inflamed sense of brightness.

Let's take a look at YOUR COMMENTS...

Judge This: Death Race

2008-08-29T11:30:00.000-07:00

INDEPENDENCE DAY IS NIGH.

Don't Make Plans for September.

The day we'll fight back!
They only want one thing... DESTRUCTION!
THESE extraterrestrials don't want to phone home... They want OUR home.
The day I'll be studying for my mathematics exam.

There goes the fanservice...
Since majority voted for random nonsense.
Don't worry. There'll be plenty more ^_^
Speaking of which, FRIDAY!!!
After a whole lotta charming and intimidating,
I managed to get a big packa dawgs to go Pyramid!
My bad, we forgot to camwhore this time...

Before Pyramid, I wanna drop my bag at my friends condo...and the best thing happened there. I was in a hurry cause my friends are waiting for me but the condo guard asked me for my Condo ID and out of my human nature, I lied, "Left it at my condo". He asked for my College ID and then after several minutes of sinful deceptions, i realized that a police officer was just next to me and they apprehended me for lying and made me face the Condo Management to which I speak really super duper fast British accent and it went a little something like this in SMS: OMG I GTG. Ride waitin' 4 me. Report me & let me go! Fast fast! I GTG edi! Sry lo~! GTG edi! Sry c'ya later kthxbai? The management wuz like: Silence! I kill you! I take you go police station! I was like OMG! I said "Oooh...this is an SOS...I GTG, my bad, kthxbai" then apologized to the police officer and then I grabbed back my College ID and zoomed to Pyramid...I learned my lesson..."Thou Shalt Not Lie!"

Btw, here is how the guards intimidated me:

Walking back to the college, all that I thought was:
AWSUMM!!! GOT SUMTHING TO BLOG ABOUT!!

At Pyramid...I showed off my DDR skills..
My poor lousy fail humiliating skills...
I learned my lesson...
"Thou Shalt Not DDR...if you suck at it!!!"
And we all saw a 5 or 6 year old looking gal...
...playing the shooting games at the arcade...
We were like OMG! LAWL!!! KAWAII!!
Then my indeciveness strucked again...
Everyone was affected by my aura..
We didn't know where to dine in.
Walking up and down, left and right..
I saw Sushi King, someone said "ooo...sushi!"
I yelled, "SUSHI KING it is!" They agreed d-_-b
JAPANESE CURRY GNOM NOM NOM
The food was simply ravishingly delightful.
The bill was simply ravishingly delightful...

...NOT!!!
After what seems to be a GAJILLION...

...seconds (yeah, lame - WHATEVER),
we were entering the theatres for:

====================
Death Race
====================

Note that if you want to watch this film,
Be it for the action only...
Because after the first 15 minutes,
You can already figure out the main plotline.
And throughout the film,
You can predict the next thing that's gonna happen.
And also predict what they're gonna say.
And also predict what kinda joke they gonna crack.
Which makes it not so funny anymore...
Which can be summed up into one word:
CLICHE!!!!

Be it for the action, be it for Malaysian.
Yes, they cut a lot of scenes...although not so violent.
Well, Malaysian cinemas.....whatcha expect??

Be it for the action, now we're talking...
It's bloody Jason Statham, crying out loud.
The built up action figure with the cars...
Transporter series...Italian Job...
...a little car scenes in Crank...
But since he's in the car almost everytime.
Nothing really matters...like nothing...
The action is pretty cool.
If you have watched a lotta films,
You still can predict the actions.............

Talking about killing car-machines,
Talk about Mario Kart: Vice City.
Death Race is simply...
...a much more violent and bloodier...
...version of Mario Kart.

[Rating: 2/10]
[Conclusion: Dead Race]

After the above, I wish to blog no further...
...cause after watching this, it sorta says this to me:

To make myself feel better, lets reminisce...

...about McDonalds...

Thinking about "I'm Lovin' It",
Makes me think about "The Dark Knight".

Ah, great times...the violence is like...
...violence in video games...

Speaking of video games which are chillax-ing,
Let's chillax to the max!!!!

Groovy, baby!

Judge This: Wall-E

2008-08-25T05:53:00.001-07:00

Whooo~~~
Had a fun time during the one week break...
but it was as if there wuzn't any holiday...
Teacher: "How's your Holidays?"
Me: "Huh? What Holiday?"
Then suddenly I recalledthat I was in...
...Ipoh for a whole week..
The Friday night I returned home from bus,
I received a call to go hang out already...
Zoom~ Immediately I went...
Kick some asses at CoD4 and go yam cha~

Saturday~~
Woke up late...Stretch meself...
Gasp at the hour hand is pointing at 12!
Hit the showers and met with my classmatez..
Then we hanged around till evening..
Headed opposite my high skul, SMI!!!
Met up with my schoolmatezz....
Bragged about myself till they gone deaf..

SMI DRAMA!!!! ***CAMELOT!!!***
Pretty much all I remembered - *Camelot!!*
Met MUCH MORE schoolmatezz....
Met MUCH MORE other friendz..
Jumping up and down, lol-ing left and right.
Sum ppl can't even recognize me no more...
Extreme Makeover case...=P
Pretty much socialize saying hey-yo during play.
After play, go fist-shake with more people...
Laugh at the actors and actresses.
Took pictures...which God knows went where...

After the ***CAMELOT!!!!***-ing,
go banana split with my MYF youth friendzz...
Noticed my schulmatez juz at nearby cafe..
Hitchhiked their rides and off to a Kindergarden.
No, srsly, a Kindergarden with shears...
Met up with my ISCF matezz this timez..
Get meself a tasty ?pasta? and ?lamb? ...
Very nice...I like...I like...
The pasta sauce was nice but some people who say:
"I cut your ears with shears..."
All of a sudden say, "For man's gravy!"
To my utter disgust...but the food wuz still awsum!
We lol'd around but I went home earlier~~~

Sunday~~
went to VCC Church...
Finally meet them and like messed around~
Then proceeded to CGMC MYF youth...
After filling my tummy with cheese baked spaghetti!
Finally meet them and like messed around again~
I remembered it wuz boring...and then it wuz fun...
But suddenly ended up eating with some of 'em...
I eat sizzling noodle...only RM3!! SO CHEAP!!!
Time flies....
All of a sudden, I wuz CoD4-ing with ISCF ppl again~
I remembered it wuz rly fun...
Yet then, the day has to end... ...with SUPPER!!!
NGA CHOI KAI!!!...umm...Taugeh Chicken??
IPOH IS A FOOD PARADISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SRSLY!!!
ARGHH!!!! I got myself fat in Ipoh ^_^

Monday~
Urgh...Can't stand hanging out no more...
Having a hangover... ...but with no alcohol...

Tuesday~
Hangover not so srs...went Night Market..
Met up with a few people. I was like OMG!!
Got meself a belt, a wallet, a lousy flip flops...
...and a nailclipper then I forgot what happened.

Wednesday~~
Went out with my VCC church frenzz this time..
Wanted to watch Wall-E...
EPIC PHAILLLLL~~~~~~~~~~
All 3 showtimes fully sold out!
Thus, we watched an epic phail movie...

=====================
Shaolin Girl
=====================

Let me summarize this movie for you:
LAME LAME LAME LAME
Pretty much self-explanatory..
I pity Stephen Chow cuz he produced..
..this LAME japanese film..he shudn't..
LAME LAME LAME LAME

[Rating: 1/10]
[Conclusion: LAME]

Well so far we have:
-Shaolin Girl
-Kung Fu Panda
-Kung Fu Hip Hop
-Kung Fu Hustle
-Kung Fu Mahjong
-Shaolin Soccer
-and many more...

Upcoming films:
-Kung Fu Amoeba
-Kung Fu Waltzing
-Kung Fu Chess
-Kung Fu Debate
-Kung Fu Spelling Bee
-Shaolin Alien
-Shaolin Wall-E
-Shaolin Britney Spears
-Shaolin Pregnancy
-Kung Fu DotA
-and many more...

Thank God I didn't pay for the film.
Btw, if you go to Ipoh Kinta City...
NEVER go to "Food and Drink" or something.
The one opposite Noodle House???
The one near the ATM machinezz..
The food there is worse than KL~~ srsly...
Thank you Nicole for getting all this for me..
And she got me a wicked cool pair of shades!
WHOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
And dinner too.....in McDonalds
LAWL!!! I registered for McD's Kids Club Card..
Free icecream/small pack of fries/hash brown
For every purchase above RM5!!!
Buy seperately and everyone gets an ice cream!
I wish to thank my Sunways CF president...
...for her brilliant idea to exploit McD...
Anywayzz...

Thursday~~
Finally I get to watch Wall-E...
...with classmatez...sum skulmatez...
...and other people matez....

=====================
Wall-E
=====================

Best animation film ever...hands down...
The cute-ness of the film...Kawaii-ne!!!
When you look at Wall-E, you'll go:
"Oh...poor thing..."
WALL-E
Waste Allocation Load Lifter Earth-Class
The only moving thing on Earth...
...besides the somehow cute cockroach...
I never liked a cockroach before.
Lonely until someone comes - EVE
Extraterrestrial Vegetation Evaluator
The movie somehow turned romantic...
The whole film wuz an...
..animation, comedy, romance & sci-fi.
The direction and plot wuz purely sci-fi!
Purely out of this world!!!
I was enjoying the beautiful artwork...
...until something appeared...
M-O (Microbe Obliterator)
A tiny little robot came out with an alert:
"Foreign Contaminant!"
I was like OMG!!! SO CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!
ARGHHHH!!! MY HEAD WAS BLOWN!!
...metaphorically...

Talking about it makes me mad~~
So let's round things up:

[Rating: 8/10]
[Conclusion: "Caution: Rogue Robots"]

Later~ we went for lunch!
CHEESE BAKED SPAGHETTI AGAIN!!!
Muresh's birthday...
I whacked him in the back...
I smudge his face with cake...
Somehow, I got cake'd the most...
Even though it ain't my b'day d-_-b
Then later, gamed my heart out...
With both SMI gang and Anderson gang...
LAWL

Friday~
Pretty sure something happened today...
The hangover strucked again...

Saturday~
Pretty sure something happened today...
The hangover continues...
Oh yea~ Got a printer...for my family...

Sunday~~
Ate at VCC church..Hangout there too...
YUMMY!!!!!!!!
Then I finished off my Globalization..
..Internet Exercise assignment...
...in less than a day...
Then I missed my 6.30pm bus to KL.
Then I thought I missed my 7.30pm one
But it only left after 8.30pm d-_-b
For some unknown reason,
I reached Pudu past midnight...
Waved for a cab...RM 40 to my apartment.
"Screw you."
Another cab horned me...
RM25 this time.
"Bless you."
And I lived happily ever after...

I watched several other movies in Ipoh.
I'd like to recommend watching them...
Here are four of them:

"Lars and the Real Girl"

Synopsis: A delusional young guy strikes up an unconventional relationship with a doll he finds on the Internet.
[Rating: 6/10]
[Conclusion: The love of Lars for the doll made it come to life...its dramatic and romantic with a slight comedy]

"In Bruges"
Synopsis: Holed up in Bruges, Belgium after a difficult job, two hit men begin to differ on their views of life and death as they become used to local customs.
[Rating: 7/10]
[Conclusion: A dark comedy with a great plot...you can feel the emotions...you just have to watch it to love it...]

"The Onion Movie"

Synopsis: Satirical interpretations of world events and curious human behavior.
[Rating: 7/10]
[Conclusion: Makes fun of clichés and how the world goes round and round...you need a funny bone for this film.]

"The Warlords"
Synopsis: It's a heroic tale of three blood brothers and their struggle in the midst of war and political upheaval...
[Rating: 7/10]
[Conclusion: Shows the rise of three blood brothers as they wage in wars and then break apart...simply awesome!]

Judge This: Forgetting Sarah Marshall

2008-08-12T08:17:00.000-07:00

Well throughout the time in college...
People I meet throughout that time...
Thought that I was a...
- Filipino
- Indonesian
- Singaporean
- Hong-kee
- Korean
- Japanese
- China-man
- Thai
...and hardly anyone thinks I'm...
- Malaysian
- Bangladeshi

And people think I'm much older..
It's so insulting...
I told my teacher that I'm 17...
She kept hitting me with a book..
And called me a liar...
I said 17 turning 18..srsly!!!
She just continued whacking me...
Ouch!

Soon enough...
I'll be mistaken for a terrorist...

And everyone here uses FaceBook.
Just got one...
Not a clue on how to use it...
Looks rather dull or rather...
Since I'm a newbie.

THURSDAY!!!
I locked myself outside my room.
The key is inside the room.
I locked myself in the apartment.
I was in my boxers...
Thank God for the phone outside...
The isolated house phone...
Saved by landlady an hour later..
Almost late for class d-_-b

I'm now trying my best to camwhore everyone.
With my useless cellphone's camera.

Push that aside, last FRIDAY!!!
We bailed school and hit the pyramid!
Before that, we tried to force
Our Korean friend, JMY to follow.
But she refused anyway d-_-b
JMY is a short form for her Korean name.
Call her Jamey, Jimmy or Jeremy.
That's what we do...her picture...

Korean? No~ just Korean pose...people thought we are Korean d-_-b
That girl's a Sakai from Sarawak...Jacq...don't blackmail me...

This is JMY, the korean. Looks like KL girl however... d-_-b

Calling her loved ones with her unique cellphone...
...inspired the Mamak uncle at the back to call too...

Talking about Pyramid, I got...
...Hannah Montana's 3D Glasses!
Although I have absolutely...
...no idea who is she...

Hannah Montana's 3D Glasses makes the world...umm... 3D.

Yeah! Makes you look hip! Get a free one now! (I got 4 for fun)

Whoa! In Pyramid!
We took a Pyramid buggie ride for free!
Too bad no pictures!
It was too exhilarating to camwhore...
Whoo..the wind..best experience ever...
Everyone looked at us...
We were like "Hello!"
As we passed by with an indoor taxi!

A failed picture of us in the elevator...useless camera phone...

In sequence: Philemon
My mom: Michelle (Indonesian!)
My sister from another mother: Yu Ji (Oh)
My son: Shane (Mauritius dude but his head is blocked)

Perfect Lagoon View: With a cigarette on a cactus...

The main reason was actually the movie:

===================================
Forgetting Sarah Marshall
===================================

Its a delightful rom com.
Jokes are lame yet doltishly hilarious.
A story about a guy who gets dumped
by Sarah Marshall, a superstar...
He gets a break from the tension.
Went to Hawaii to only find her there...
With another superstar...
It was an overall cliché.
But its good that way...

The movie is ruined by Malaysia...
The whole film is filled with cuts.
Cut here, Cut there...15 minutes gone...

The scenes involving a puppet play...
The scenes involving singing...
...was flawed...yet tickles your bones..
The characters in this movie...
...are just simply lovable...
...except for a certain few though...
However, the plot was short.
The plot was almost empty.
But the execution made up to it.
The lines and phrases in this movie..
Are simply not memorable and good..
But the songs are!

I cannot say much about this film.
Its just simply lovable.
You just have to watch it...
...to simply enjoy it.
And Mila Kunis is really hot!
Can't wait to catch her on...
Max Payne...i think...

I'll just sum it up with a rating...

[Rating: 6/10]
[Conclusion: "Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!"]

We missed the Olympics opening T_T
But we went to check it out anyway...
After saying goodbyes to my mom and son.
We joined Jacq and a few others in Medan.
Saw the march pass and got drilled bored.
Ishwar dropped by. He invited us...
..into Yu Ji and I into his condo...
Since the march was really booooring....so...

Miraculously, my illness cured after drinking Vodka!
Get one now! Just don't get drunk!
Yu Ji to the left and Ishwar to the right...

Notice all the pictures with me in it?
My face shape kept changing...

From fat to not so fat ^_^ Hoho!!!
But still too phat T________T

Last SUNDAY!!!!
Went to Acts...
Once again...met up with...
Jmay, Crsie, Rene, Rachel Lim,
& Charles Lee (Ipoh neighbour)!
..participate in UFO-lympics...
Boys beat Girls!!!! YAY!!!
And the 20 boys get a gift.
I got a stack of paper!!!
Paper One Premium Paper!
500 All Purpose Sheets!!
But I have no printer T___T
Well, can write letter to...
...daddy and mommy... ^_^
...granny and granpa... =.=
And draw nonsense for...
...my sister...or just make...
...a paper airplane for her.

You know what?
I'm gonna do that right now...
I think...
Well then, Lemon Lime out!

Judge This: Midnight Meat Train

2008-08-04T23:36:00.000-07:00

Long time since I clicked on New Post.
Well, last 2 weeks, the weekend...
Jeremy Tan came over...
I epic phil-ed around, and he epic phail-ed around...
Guess what? He brought this big knife around with him.
He placed it at the side of his jeans.
Like some sort of ninja...Cookie Ninja!
And a hidden blade somewhere else too.
Bottomline: City Harvest we went...
Ps. Troy Marshall! OMG!!! Blown our heads off...
Jeremy seems that he had No Air, No Air...

Moving on....
Last week,
It was a day of despair...
Saturday.
2 friends and I went to pool.
They didn't allow short pants in...
3 Quarters Jeans, i wore...
I'm in Despair!
1 of my friend hated pool.
He's in Despair!
Later we went Subway...
Finally, something great!
Then, we were late for movie!
Like 15 minutes late!

Yeah, before the review, allow me to talk about...
About Malaysian Cinemas.

The following is applied to all ratings.
Including 18SG/SX/PL/PA/Whatever

Almost every single word is censored.
Example: Hancock
They censored every single "a**hole".
And every other not so vulgar profanities.

All kissing scenes are cut.
When it comes to sensual scenes of any kind,
That scene is just cut.
Example: Hancock
Even the kiss scene was a part of a later plot,
They cut it and people went WTF? What kiss?

And DESPAIR times...
Example: The Dark Knight
During climax final epic action battle scene,
The screen went black. All lights turned on...
Everyone stood up and looked behind.
Everyone SHOUTED "WOI!!!"
Everyone SHOUTED "BOO!!!!"
Everyone SHOUTED "Money back!!!"
It lasted for almost a minute.
All of sudden, the movie just continued...
Everyone missed like 3 seconds of it.
Everyone was PISSED OFF!!!

Anyways,

==========================
MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN
==========================

Well, I missed 15 minutes of it.
Well, it was boring...
Talking about photographer and all~
WTF all the way...until it comes to the Midnight Train scene...
The movie was not even scary!
I just wished that everyone in the film died.
And the killing scene lasted for 1 hour.
Instead it was totally about only 15 minutes.
This movie was funny to me somehow...
Cause this murderer can sit still for like HOURS!!!
I was like WTF but then I LOL'd.
The movie was kinda draaaaaggy....
The movie was obviously cliché.
But all of a sudden, there's this WTF moment.
The ending was a total WTF.
If it was Cloverfield, I get it...cause it's meant that way.
And Cloverfield 2 is even coming out.
Well as for this film,
Totally illogical movie and totally WTF ending...
It doesn't suit a WTF ending like Cloverfield.
Well, only the gore-y murder scenes was nice.
Unlike The Dark Knight which is filled with
AWESOME LINES, PHRASES and STUFF!!
This film made me remember a phrase,
Although it wasn't important...
Said by a total stranger in a movie...
Nothing to do with anything but...
"Life is like a box of chocolates."
I was like WTF but then I LOL'd.
As mentioned before, Ishwar is vegetarian.
So we kept saying "MEAT!!!" Train!
Therefore, he is gonna make:
Midnight Vegetable Train!!!

[Rating: 4/10]
[Conclusion: A Midnight Meat Train Wreck]

Let's continue my day of despair!!
We went to Lagoon Resort
Cause my friend needs a room for his parents.
He's in Despair!
No more rooms!
We asked the concierge for any duty free shops nearby.
We're in Despair!
The only one available is KLIA!
Before going here, we were suppose to go to Giant.
Cause my friend needs vodka.
He's in Despair!
The wine section is closed! I LOL'd.
Then we decided for a 1 buck ice-cream,
Like we wanted to have earlier.
We're in Despair!
It closed too! It wasn't even 9.30 pm yet!
Then we supposedly went to this mamak shop to eat.
We're in Despair!
It was closed too!
Then we went eat at the nearby shop.
I ordered Indonesian Fried Rice.
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
I'm in Despair!
As some of you might know, I love spicy food!
But suddenly, this is too spicy!
My whole mouth was shooting flames!
I drank 2 bottles of Soy Milk
and 1 whole bottle of Limau Ais.
I'm in Despair!
My cash was flowing away fast!
And guess what?
My lips swollen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The area around my lips was
ALL RED!!!!!!!!
I am the Joker!!!!! Oh noesss!!!!!
Wait...that could be cool but...
IT WAS BURNIN' HOT AS HELL!!!!!
I'm in Despair!
I'm not gonna despair about it anymore...

Speaking of which,
I was sick since last Wednesday...
I am sick of being sick!!!
And today I skipped school...
Cause I can't stand it no more!!!
Ulcers at the back, side of my tongue.
Ulcers at the back, side of my cheek.
Ulcers at MY THROAATT!!!!!
Flu and thick phlegm!!!!
Dizziness and slight fever!!!!
The water here sucks.
The food here sucks.
The air here sucks.

All I Need is the Air I Breathe... When I Am Back in Ipoh!

Asides, from me nagging around...
Being sour and all as Mr Lemon Lime.
Let's talk about something else cause
"I'm Mr Brightside!"
As I am Mr Filamen Tungsten...

Well, I want to share with y'all.
A nice movie not shown in Malaysia.
A nice movie which I just watched.
A nice movie which just came out on DVD:

"Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day"

Some people might not favour this though.
It's filled with cliché but it's just a must.
The setting is somewhere in London???
During the edge of WWII...
Its about this really unlucky Miss Pettigrew.
Until she meets a B-E-A-utiful woman (Amy Adams).
She's a slut. Sleeping with 3 men.
And Miss Pettigrew helps her somehow...
And then the table turns around.
It's really cliché but if it isn't, the film will suck.
Bah! I just can't say anything much about the movie.
So, I'll just sum it all up and just rate it!

[Rating: 6/10]
[Conclusion: "A Much Bigger Boy Than I Had Expected."]

Judge This: The Dark Knight

2008-07-21T03:46:00.000-07:00

Yes, You Have Seen This Review Before.
But Wait!!!
I'm Re-evaluating "The Dark Knight".
Nothing like you've ever seen before...

Before reviewing this sequel,
I'll rate the first movie: Batman Begins.
[Rating: 8/10]

First off, I wanna clarify something.
Batman Begins and The Dark Knight
are not for people who:
-Only likes action sequences
-Hates talking scenes
-Hates dark and noir films
-Hates superhero films
-Hates fiction stories
-Hates casualties
-Hates thinking
-Low intelligence
-English Illiterate
-Weak hearted
-Pregnant women
-Pregnant men

==========================
THE DARK KNIGHT
==========================

I got this large poster =P Yay!

The Dark Knight is a perfect noir masterpiece.
It tells the story of Batman in a whole new way.
It tells it from a different perspective.
The Christopher Nolan's Batman series,
Batman Begins started off with a epic blast!
Now, he continues his amazing direction with:
The Dark Knight.

The story was perfectly executed.
The story was written in a dark tone.
The screenplay was all very noir.
But it managed to capture every moment,
the emotions and perspective of the characters.
Although the story could be quite confusing,
The plot was so mind-blowing-ly awesome!
The action sequence was ball-busting too!
Perfectly executed!

The characters was reinvented.
The characters looked much more real.
With their emotions and scars.
No supernatural or extraordinary powers.
Every villain or hero was just a human.
Every dialogue was beautifully made.
The phrases were powerful said.
Especially from three people.
The Joker.
Harvey Dent/White Knight.
Lucius Fox (Morgan Freeman)

Rachel Dawes,
The Dark Knight's love interest.
Rachel Dawes,
The White Knight's love interest.
Rachel Dawes,
Batman Begins: Katie Holmes.
The Dark Knight: Maggie Gyllenhaal.
Maggie certainly is a better Rachel.

Christian Bale,
The Perfect Batman/ Dark Knight.
Aaron Eckhart,
The Perfect DA/White Knight.
Gary Oldman and Michael Cane,
Endearing and lovable as always.
Morgan Freeman,
EVERYONE LOVES HIM!!!!

The Joker.
The late Heath Ledger.
Heath Ledger wasn't acting.
Heath Ledger wasn't role-playing.
Heath Ledger wasn't performing.
Alone in a hotel room for a month.
Formulating the Joker's posture.
Formulating the Joker's voice.
Formulating the Joker's psychology.
Heath Ledger is the Joker.

[Rating: 8/10]
[Conclusion: This is what happens when an
unstoppable force meets an immovable object.]

Now, Two Batman films are done.
Which villain will Batman face next?

Judge This: Karaoke & Me

2008-07-20T09:13:00.000-07:00

Sunday was just like every other Sunday.
My aunt got me out for lunch at a mamak's.
Then they drop me off at campus.
Soon, Jmay and I was waiting at a bus stop.
All of a sudden, my neighbour called me.
Charles, who recently lost his cell.

Why was I at the bus stop?
Waiting for a bus to pick us up to Acts Church.
That school bus came with Charles waving!
He knew I was visiting that church.
Irene told him d-_-b
The church is in Summit Hotel.

U.F.O [U at Five O'clock...or something]
Its the name of their Sunday service.
Majority of them are campus students.
Because it is meant for campus students.
Anyways, it started off with an attitude.

Its a dance off.
Several people were break dancing.
Yes. I know. Again break dancing.
They were just performance.
The real thing was when its time for DDR!
War of the genders! 3 guys vs. 3 gals.
Christine was picked! She was like OMG!
She refused for quite a while...

First round - Girls won.
Second round - Guys won.
Third round - Christine's Turn!

She became all out ninja and owned DDR!
The boys totally got served by her...
Earlier, she refused but yet she won d-_-b
She got the best price through lucky draw.
It was PO THE KUNG FU PANDA!!!!!
I regret not volunteering now T_____T

Worship session was awesome!
The pastor was also mind blowing!
"Temptation is Unavoidable...
...but it isn't Unbearable!"
Everyone was so hyped up.
Later on, free makan.
I had no idea how to eat chicken breasts...
with a plastic spoon and fork...
I went makan Malaysian style!

And then ARGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
I was set up!
I was exploited!
I was violated!
Irene, Christine and Jmay used me!
AGAIN!!!! ARGHHHHHHHH!!!!
This Sunday was Dance Off...
Next? It was Karaoke...

Christine was being asked to join,
After how she owned, of course.
Then all of a sudden,
They all looked at me with a grin.
AN EVIL GRIN!!!!!!!!!!!!
I looked away immediately.
When I turned back,
They were writing my name!
Checked their cell phones,
They wrote my contact number!
And somehow,
They even remembered my
E-MAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got owned. I'm a terrible singer!
I go off-key. Glass breaks.
Simon Cowell screams.
Clouds darken. Rain starts pouring!
They signed me up for Karaoke!!!!
ARGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY????

Watch This: The Dark Knight

2008-07-19T20:17:00.000-07:00

As I have blogged before, I got the tickets for
THE "TOTALLY" DARK "AWESOME" KNIGHT!
I wore formal as a tribute to the late Heath Ledger.

REVIEW SHIFTED TO:
Judge This: The Dark Knight
Monday, 21 July, 2008

After the movie, my indecisiveness again!
We can't decide where to eat in Pyramid!
We circled around Pyramid twice.
Finally, we agreed on Kim Gary.
Full house. I was like WAAARGH!!!
In the end, we ate outside Pyramid d-_-b
Pathetic! We ate mamak!

Now I have nightmares on 11 bucks!
11 bucks for the food and movie!
Even the food yesterday was 11 bucks!
Ice skating during weekdays is 11 bucks!
But I didn't even ice skate though.

I was forced to be a kuli.
Irene, Jmay, Christine went shopping in Jusco.
Thank God for trolleys for them groceries.

Random Rant:
Notice the lack of pictures in my blog?
Sorry for not being a cam-whore.
I was cam-whored once by a campus friend.
Jacqueline! Stop cam-whoring me!
I will never post the pictures she took ever!

Later, another same old statement pop'ed!
Christine said I looked like 30 years old.
And looked as if I have a girlfriend...
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
I replied, "I know."
She asked, "Do you have a girlfriend?"
I answered, "No."
She riposted, "I know."
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY????

Try This: Friday Nite

2008-07-18T10:14:00.000-07:00

Friday.
Your everyday Friday?
Blimey, it ain't.

Got to my class at 1.30 to 4.00 pm.
Hit back the 'partments and chillax.
Got back to my campus for Jmay.
Hit the Pyramid for the rest.
Dinner with Irene, Rachel Lim and Wei Peng
At Ichiban Ramen.

First impression: I like Ramen.
After seeing the menu: OMG
Crumbs, I got rice and an egg only.
I was the trash can for Renee and Jmay d-_-b
So I got my tummy filled for 10 bucks!
I'm having nightmares with 10 bucks now!
No one ate ramen anyway...IRONIC!

Off to TGV and got meself a ticket to:
THE DARK KNIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now beat that!
Then we hit J.Co Donuts.
For drinks...not donuts.
Thank heavens for Anna!
She got all 6 of us in her old skool saga!
Boom! We hit CITY HARVEST!!!!!!

Great disappointment ensued!
No more seats left apparently.
Lining up outside for quite a while.
Thank heavens we got to squeeze inside.
Got my leg Cramped at the end.
I was like ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
No pain, no gain...what's there to gain?
The performance was cekap.
But we were squeezed uncomfortably!

Then, we hit Medan to which we hit Orange.
Upstairs, I met Ishw...I mean Kumar.
Then, we YAM CHA!!!! Got milk?
Yes, they did so my bones are now stronger!
All of a sudden, Kumar and his gang said:
"Define IPOH LALA~"
I was like cor! And I defined it somehow.

Later, that same old statement pop'ed!
I should be in Mass Comm. ?
Why everyone is saying this?!

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY????

Try This: Freshie Nite

2008-07-17T09:43:00.000-07:00

Thursday.
Ivan Looney came over to my apartment.
Hit my keyboard to play some Bioshock.
Wasn't long till we needa hit the Freshie Nite.
It cost us 10 friggin' bucks each.
What is the Freshie Nite?
Its for the freshmen in Sunways.
Ivan and his KDU gang crashed it anyways.

Inside the party hall, performances were on:
Hip-Hop-Break-Leg-Dance whatever...
So many freakin' times until I hope that they'll break a leg by breakdancing.
More boring performance...
Even more boring performance...
And finally much more boring performance...

Well, there were some that stand out though.
I call them talents. The rest were just plain wannabes...or something...
There's this two african couple dancing.
No eyes on the guys. All eyes on the girl's ass.
She was shaking that all over the stage like some polaroid picture.
It wasn't even like an ass, it was like a rubber thingie...

Secondly, there was this God knows Iranian people or something.
One was on the guitar with hands of a grinder.
The other was holding this flat round thingie.
It has beads inside and it looks really light.
Turns out, its louder than a friggin' drum!
The beads also made the shakey shakey sound if he shakes it.
When he hits it, I was like OMG! Like a real drum with only fingers!

Lastly, there was this couple dancing....GREASE STYLE!!!!
The guy had like a grease-y ass... He moved it like its dislocated!
The girl was like so smooth and the guy had this really cool trousers!
It was so mind-googling...whatever that means...
I gave a standing ovation to that GREA-WSOME DANCE!!!

Leastly, there was this random competition...
Fashion show or something...5 girls and 5 guys.
All of the ones who went up weren't even fashionable.
Those who were fashionable was fashionably ignorant.
The main thing was this fat English man ---looks like a lecturer.
He wore a tuxedo or some sort. It was mind-blogging!
With hands behind, he walk towards the middle.
Unbutton his jacket and swing to the side.
Ivan shouted, "Stylo Milo Kwai Lou!"
I was like OMG! And he won the title for being awesome.

Regardless of that, I said my 'ciao's to the KDUs.
My indian friend whom I now call Kumar after Harold & Kumar,
said that it was not vegetarian so the food sucked...for him...
At the end, there were people dancing so enthusiastically.
Before it hits the floor, suddenly it was time to go home.
THAT IS SO FREAKIN' POTONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After that, my other bunch of friends went yam cha.
Then we remembered that we lost friggin' 10 bucks.
How do we remember it?
They chopped a flower symbol on our hands...
...when we entered that hall.

That day was totally...well...why don't you try it?

Judge This: Movie Posters and My Room

2008-07-13T05:18:00.000-07:00

It's Sunday!
My friend, Hunter came by first thing in the morning.
Yes, Hunter is a name. It is a name. A very unique name.
You can find no other guy name Hunter, almost like my name.
However, its much more rare and sounds much more cooler.

Regardless of that, he supposed to fetch me to his church.
I'd call it our church now. It's City Harvest. The PJ one. Not S'pore.
Dressing totally casual, I expected nothing.
It was like every other day until I set foot on the parking lot.

I entered the gates of City Harvest.
There was the outdoor cafeteria...I was like OMG!
There was the many youths...I was like OMG!
Then, I went inside the building...I was like OMG!
They sold books at the side of the foyer...
The bookstore is behind I heard.
The other side of the foyer, two doors.
One is the nursery room, one was the meeting room.
I was like OMG!

It was time to enter the sanctuary!
I can see few guards (voluntary ones) and I was like OMG!
As I entered, I was struck with...I was like OMG!
The stage...I was like OMG! Nicely designed.
I can see cameras at the back and the front.
It captured every moment I walked in and displayed it at the screen on stage.
At that very moment, "Superstar" by Lupe Fiasco was playing through my head.
Then ushers start flooding the room and guiding us to our seats! I was like OMG!

And then, the prayer session started. Everyone was in tongues.
I was like OMG!
And then, toilet break until 10 a.m.!
I didn't go somehow and ended up meeting Kai Bing and I was like OMG!
And then, we talked until Worship started. It was spectacular!
The lead singer, backups, musicians and the choir group were on stage.
The cameras were rolling. We can see the faces and the crowd on the screen.
The music started playing...I was pretty sure it was "Solution".
With the worship leader face on screen, lyrics started appearing like subtitles!
I was like OMG!!!!!!

The "Solution" was played on another note which made it totally easy to sing!
And then, like everybody was like singing while I was like OMG!
And then, "Break Free" and their own City Harvest songs and I was like OMG!
Somewhere around Break Free, I saw clips from the anime "One Piece" d-_-b
I was like OMG!!!! All the way till the end.
Before preaching, they played a video with info regarding the church.
It felt like a TV programme which made me...I was like OMG!

And then, up comes the young pastor Kevin Loo! I was like OMG!
I looked around and the church consists of 80% youth. I was like OMG!
And then, he preached so cekap and farnee. I was like LOL!
He preached about Keep on Keeping on with many points.
Well, we also got this pamphlet and I also got another book for greenhorns.
Many things happened which I only can remember making me go:
I was like OMG!
For the rest of the service.
It seems next week their having a special anniversary thingamabob...
I expect it to be...I am going to be like OMG! again...

After service, few people went to the foyer to play Wii, I was like OMG!
Then, a number of us go eat lunch and the food there was like OMG!
NO! NOT THE GOOD OMG I MEANT LIKE THE REST!
It's the "OMG! IT DOESN'T TASTE AS GOOD AS IPOH FOOD" OMG.
Well, meet many people and I really can't keep up with so many new names!
Argh! First my campus and now my church! Too many names!
I don't think I can fit any more knowledge in my brain for studying!

Okay....after a whole morning of Oh My Grandmothers.....
I went home and start tearing out movie posters from my FIRST magazine.
Literally, tearing until I cried. It totally ruined my whole day.
I accidentally torn all the nice posters but the not so nice ones were save...
I had like 10 huge posters. They had the size of 4 A4 sized papers!
I didn't post one up cause I didn't like the poster a single bit.
Now, my whole room is filled with posters! Looks so AWESOME!!!!

The posters consists of:
-The Dark Knight (accidentally tore it so i had to cut a part T___T)
-Iron Man
-Jumper (lousy movie though)
-I am Legend
-The Simpsons Movie
-Indiana Jones 4 (accidentally tore it so had to cut it too T_____T)
-Indiana Jones 4 (another version but not damaged)
-10 Promises to My Dog (dunno what movie but I like the puppy!)
-Arctic Tale (dunno this too but I like the polar bears!)

Besides that, I also post some A4 sized posters.
-The Dark Knight (the Joker but i accidentally tore it at the sides)
-Star Wars: The Clone Wars (yeah, the animated one)

Ahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!
Tomorrow classes from 11 am to 5.30 pm!!
I'm so going to bite someone!

Judge This: YACF Camp Booklet '08

2008-07-11T06:50:00.000-07:00

Okay... I was supposed to do this immediately after the camp but I forgot.
Therefore, this is old news but if you attended YACF, the booklet you received was supposed to be coloured.
The coloured version was supposed to look like this:

Benjamin Tan helped me a bit in this. Please rate this one.

Actually, this was not the one we wanted. The one we wanted was the original one.
The original one was designed by me so it looks ugly cause I'm a n00b.
But we found out when it turned black and white, it look like trash.
Also, rate this! Tell me what you think about both of them.
Tell me which one you prefer best even if you didn't attend the camp!
Sorry for the late post. I know I really suck I designing.

Please leave a review! I know I'm a n00b!

Judge This: My Love Affair

2008-07-11T05:50:00.000-07:00

Nothing much happened today...
...except that I lost my Darth Vader head with blinking eyes like on the video blog...
I just remembered that Ishwar read my palm and told me about my future.
He says he learnt some from his mom so he really is sure of what he is doing.
He says so far what his mom said was true but I believe he made it come true himself.
Regardless of me being totally ignorant about palm reading, he did read mine.

He said that I was going to have a long life!
Even my Grandmother told me that once before.
If I were to have a long life, that would take me a while to meet God.
Well, hopefully, my life in the future would be a bliss!

He said that I was Impractical.
This is so not true. I'm much more practical than theory.
I don't really understand what is Practical and Impractical though.
As I know so far I have been really practical! I'm not visionary!

He said that I was not sexually active.
I immediately said "What do you mean by that? That sounds so wrong!"
He said in other words, "You are not desperate for sex."
Well, I think of it as a good thing. So in future I won't rape or anything.

Finally, he told me the worst thing. Guess what he said? Yeah, the post title!
He said this to me, "You will have an affair right before you get married."
Of course, I immediately defended myself.
He explains that I'll have an love affair with another woman and get married with her.
WAIT!!!! Don't judge me! It's just palm reading! It won't come through!
I will not make it come through and not have a love affair! I'm not that kind of person!
I wouldn't break anyone's heart! That is just wrong! C'mon! It's so wrong!
Indefinitely, he says that it will definitely happen and I obviously objected.
If you know me, you know that I ain't some kind of playboy or something!
You know that is so not true! Even the impractical part is not true!
So this is definitely not true! Don't worry! It will never happen.......hopefully!

Those of you reading this.
DO NOT LET ANYONE READ YOUR PALM EVER!

Judge This: Hellboy II: The Golden Army

2008-07-10T09:03:00.000-07:00

Before I start blogging about today, my Indian friend would like himself to be known.
The one that commented the movie was like "The Incredibles".
The one that told me about the India popcorn flavours.

The one that is vegetarian and loves milk.
His name is Ishwar.
Its not Ish...War!!! It's pronounced as Ish-wr.
I call him Ish..Wah!!! regardless of that.
He says that he is gonna get me drunk and bets I'll strip.
I replied, "Bite me."

Today was awesome.
In campus, I started off with:

1st Subject: Computer Science
-I nicknamed everyone in this class for easy memory.
-It was like repeating I.T class in Form 4 and 5.
-But I forgot lotsa things I learnt since last year.
[Rating: 8/10] = Cause I know this trash .

2nd Subject: Globalization
-Unlike yesterday, I know trash this time so it's fun.
-I talked lotsa trash cause I know this trash suddenly.
-I talked colonization like I'm trash smart.
[Rating: 9/10] = Cause I know this trash.

3rd Subject: Mathematics
-We learnt about few old trashes and new trashes.
-That magician student is creating a new "Magic Force" club.
-That magician student asked the teacher to be the club advisor who agreed..
[Rating: 6/10] = Magic is kinda cool...unlike Maths homework...

4th Subject: English
-Today, we have English for the first time...the teacher had a VERY SCARY face.
-I was petrified until she turned out to be kinda friendly and okay....SO FAR....
-After a whole introduction of each student section, we were allowed to know each other.
-I nicknamed more people like I'm some sort of freak.
-I popularized myself as Lemon or Filamen Tungsten to everyone but two people.
-There's this Nigerian dude named Monditere which sounds wicked cool.
-We talked trash and we laughed out trash, I learnt some Korean and Spanish.
[Rating: 9/10] = Cause I dig this trash.

First I would like to thank my friend, Yoke to drift me back to my apartment.
Then I went to Sunway Pyramid and meet up with my YACF camp buddies!!!
They were the only ones who is currently near Pyramid and studying in Taylors.
Rachel Lim and Irene Chin! Wahahahahahah!!!! I felt so tall amongst them!
No offense, Rachel or Irene if you are reading this =P
And then, as Rachel requested:

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Pros:
-The CGI, Art and Character Design is similar to Pan's Labyrinth
-The one scene where Red and Blue were singing (not really a spoiler)

Cons:
-This film's comedy were too hollow to laugh at
-This film's action scenes were too short and not really good
-This film's romance scenes were too typical and lame
-This film's dramatic scenes were not dramatic at all
-This film's plot is empty and too simple
-This film can't decide whether it's comedy, action, romance or drama
-This film does not have any factor that excites anyone and it's too draggy
-This film had no reason for you to stay awake as it was really boring

We have 2 pros and 8 cons again. Therefore, I'll give this movie:
[Rating: 2/10]
[Conclusion: Hellboring II: The Old-Dead Army]

After that, we were supposed to go for dinner and no one could decide to eat where for quite a while.
UNTIL, Momma Irene suggested to go for Mr. Teppanyaki
Then, we sat down and ordered our food.
We waited for what it seems like ages (oh noesss....sarcasm again!!!!)

Finally, we got our food. Rachel was already stuffed with disgusting caramel popcorns so she passed dinner.
Irene and I ate Lala and Stingrays...Teppanyaki style!
The Stingray was [Rating: 6/10] because eating them is like avenging Steve Irwin.
The Lala was [Rating: 4/10] because it tasted like Lala chai and Lala mui...
Later, we BYE BYE-d!

After that, I met up with Ishwar and a friend which I nicknamed UGO whom she thought it meant some shit like Yu-gi-oh.
We talked lots of trash and we trashed around and watched some break dancers do some trash.
Later, we BYE BYE-d!

Ok...fine...that will be the last one for today...I'll post more like tomorrow or the days after tomorrow...
Sheesh, it was a long day.
Bite me, tomorrow I have classes from 1.30 pm to 4.00 pm. Enough time for my Maths homework!
Well, one more thing!!!!

COUNT HOW MANY "TRASH(ES)" ARE THERE IN THIS POST!

=============
URGENT EDIT:
My blog has recently been hacked.
I just edited to delete those sick disgusting porn images.
I'm sorry if I disturbed anybody who experienced this horrible incident.
I'm sure that I'm going to have a nightmare after this.
Such beautiful day ruined by a hacker.

EDIT AGAIN:
I tried to link some funny images into my blog.
A minute or two after publishing the blog, the images turned into porn.
I didn't notice if it weren't for my caring friends.
Sorry, Ivan and Serene for the inconvenience and nightmare caused.
Also thank you to Puventhan for telling me more about this.
According to him, it has happened to my other friend before.
He says it is not hacking, it is the website which doesn't want you to link them.
In conclusion,
NEVER LINK IMAGES TO YOUR BLOG!
Instead, try downloading them and check whether it is fine.
Then, UPLOAD THE IMAGES TO YOUR BLOG.
=============

Judge This: Hancock

2008-07-09T08:15:00.000-07:00

Horrible Sarcasm?
- You Won't See It Again

Horrible Video Blog?
- You Won't See It Again

Horrible Critisms?
- You Won't See It Again? Dream On...

Well...Orientation Ended...
Now we need to friggin' start marching through the living hell...

1st Subject: Computer Science
-One student said he was a magician and people think he's older cause he looks mature.
-The teacher said that I look more mature.
-The teacher said that when she thinks of Ipoh, she gets hungry.
[Rating: 9/10] = Cause she complimented me...

2nd Subject: Globalization
-Everyone was like so pro in this that I was the only student going WTF.
-I gave out random ideas which has no links to whatsoever.
-Illegal Immigrants....
[Rating: 4/10] = Cause I don't get it...

3rd Subject: Mathematics
-Same student said he was a magician.
-That student performed magic with cards.
-We were forced to applause...most of us were obliged to do so...we just don't know when.
[Rating: 7/10] = Magic is kinda cool...unlike Maths...

Only three subjects for the day and it has nothing to do with Hancock.
Later on, my friends and I went DDR!
Guess what? I suck at it as much as I suck at bowling...
My skill at DDR? [Rating: 2/10]

After that? It is...

=============
HANCOCK
=============

Pros:
-Will Smith and Jason Bateman are very good actors
-Charlize Theron is hot

Cons:
-The first half was immitating "The Incredibles"
-The jokes were all either too common or too lame or too expectable to even laugh at
-You can expect what will happen next as its a totally cliché
-A big turn of events which even I didn't expect made the film even more ridiculous
-The second half was totally ridiculous and totally lame
-The action scenes and lines tried too be cool but it was just cold
-The film was too short with totally bad direction
-The film had no reason for you to stay awake as it was really boring.

We have 2 pros and 8 cons. Therefore, I'll give this movie:
[Rating: 2/10]
[Conclusion: What a Load of Hancock]

What I learnt during the movie was that in India, they sell flavoured popcorns.
Not caramel...it seems like caramel flavoured ones suck.
They have tomato flavour, chilly flavour, butter flavour and many more.
No, I didn't learn that from the movie. My friend from India told me that.
He told me that caramel popcorn is too sweet and he didn't really like it.
He promised to let me try some when he gets hold of them! Now, bite that!

Later, it was time for dinner. My friend is a vegetarian.
Hence, we went eat in a Bakery and Vegetarian Diner or something...
I had this like vegetarian and egg stuff... It was...
[Rating: 5/10]
I definitely miss Ipoh food a world lot!
Then I came home and here I am, criticizing everything...

Well, That's All Folks!
Tomorrow, I'll be watching the premiere of Hellboy 2: The Golden Army.
I bought the tickets today... No one bought it before me...
I got the middle and center seats so that is awesome!
Expect major criticisms coming soon!

Don't forget to leave comments like:
-**** you! Hancock was great!
-Yeah! Hancock sucked!
-Dude, Where's My Car?
-DDR is awesome! You are a loser...
-Paris Hilton is like hot.
-I'm a vegetarian.
-I want more VIDEO BLOG!
-I love you so much that I want to kiss you.
-Seating middle and center seats suck.
-I love Charlize Theron too!

Judge This: Freshman Creates a Video Blog

2008-07-08T07:51:00.000-07:00

You asked where I study
- Sunway

You asked why Greenhorn
- I am one

You asked why so long to update
- VIDEO BLOG!!!!!!!!

Now, is it EPIC enough for you?

First and foremost, Disclaimers:
-I looked hideous cause I just took a bathe and I ain't photogenic...
-The audio and video synchronization sucked...blame my webcam...
-The video quality? Blame Blogger Video Upload.
-The audio quality? Blame the Audio Encoder.
-Be sure to increase your volume.
-The performance quality? Blame me for not being Nigahiga.

Now is it EPIC enough for you?

Judge This: Freshman Creates a Blog

2008-07-06T03:51:00.000-07:00

Who would have guess that a person who never blogs or writes diaries ends up creating a blog.

Impressive?
Awesome?
Pathetic?
Stupid?

You name it. You say it. You judge it.

-----

Anyhow, I displaced myself to PJ and this is a story of a greenhorn living the rest of his remaining life...

-----

Dear Diary,

When I first met Lagoon Perdana, I was struck by the beauty of my apartment.
[Rating: 2/10]
After getting tired when I carried my big load of luggage up several times, I was able to sleep immediately.

The next day, I hit the college. Jaws dropped, I never expected to find Jon Silendra there.
On the first day itself, we joined some Hotdog Eating Contests for 2 freakin' bucks!
C'mon, like eat all of them you want in 1 friggin' minute is cheap! And you get to drink water! Mineral water! I mean, who wouldn't take it?
We all aimed to eat at least 3 but in the end, both of us end up eating only one.
I manage to steal one sausage after then contest.
Anyway, the taste of the hotdog was bewildering!
[Rating: 3/10]

Anyhoo, the first two orientation days were fantastically ho-hum.
[Rating: 4/10]
When the English lecturer came to speak about the English subject, it was definitely awesome!
His head was like a flashbang! So smooth that it could reflect light and even UV rays!
Being a college lecturer, he talked about English exams, the oral presentation and bla bla bla.
Of course, being a English lecturer, he has a way with his oral presentation.
[Rating: 2/10]
I couldn't believe he could actually speak English in the first place!
He was mumbling away in a poor accent and he said "Yo-you-you will oso be learn Engish".
Well, at least he doesn't say, "I make yooo say London vevi goood, I tell yooo..."

The weekends was unexpected. My cousin came over and asked me to stay overnight at their house.
Without hesitation, I gladly accepted the offer that I obviously can't or won't refuse.
Then I watched Astro, and more Astro, and then more Astro, then I watched even more Astro.
We also obviously hit a few malls and a few major hotspots during the two days.
Then I came back to my "beautiful" apartment...
Ah , I love my apartment. It has teh interwebz!!!! Looking forward to continue my life!

Love,
A Greenhorn.

-----

Impressive?
Awesome?
Pathetic?
Stupid?

You name it. You say it. You judge it.
Leave a Review.